p hi l lll ll j a m es

digital artist | ordinary psychedelic play


It's hot. Like, real hot. The only airflow is provided by a single metallic fan, pointed at my chair where I work. Mia the cat is sometimes here, nuzzling her face into my foot. I'm trying to realise the world.

Someone dug a huge hole outside, and someone else is filling it. What used to be a small overgrown lot became a hive of activity, and foreign sounds. A cursory understanding only amplifies their mystery.


Those empty holes seem unsupported, and are also not going anywhere, and are also not shifting, and are also not emptying their weight into the void, and just simply, standing in the place of things that might have been.


I see them reaching their small tendrils around the framework, and I feel them growing out of the solids - there must be gaps, somewhere for them to grow, but I don't possess the magnification to see those tiny voids clearly.

My fault.


I was a soldier, posted to a small hill, overlooking a harbour. My duty was to man the singular weapon which overlooked that harbour. It was summer, and the people around me couldn't care less about defending that particular ground. I knew that I had destroyed an enemy armored vehicle, I knew this, but I had not done it. The outpost itself was butted right against and up to a small interior-design office, owned by a lady who did not frequent the place, but let the general public use the space. I was wearing a stifling uniform, and the invasion from the public was just as unwanted as the invasion from afar.


Far down the hill, I tried to recruit those who looked able to help me, warning them of the impending invasion. They did not care to know, and did not want to hold the hill.

"Trident, Discus, Scimitar, Lasso, Conch shell, Mace, Bow and arrow, Spear, Sword (Longsword), Shield, Bell, Pink lotus flower, Battle-axe, Thunderbolt, Elephant Goad, Snake, Rod, Spade, Vajra, Goblet, Hammer weapon, Iron Weapon, Weapon made out of thorns, Javelin, Dagger"

(list from this wikipedia article)

This is a small Unity sketch I made last week as an exercise in thinking about 'building a house for not understanding', (after picking up "The Poetics of Space", referenced by this excellent KillScreen article on Silent Hill 2.) I treated this as also a kind of painting exercise, overlaying things and discovering spaces.

EPILEPSY WARNING: Right click fullscreen to prevent flickering (at least on my machine.)

You can try it here.

(WSAD Controls.)

This is an earlier screenshot of the unity scene in progress.

I took several screenshots from this as I was working/exploring it and applied the same photoshop processes to them - here's some of the outcomes: